Harold Saxophone, Cornish MP
(stay tuned like a saxophone)
In case anyone’s curious about R’N’D Media, here’s one of their videos. I found it surprisingly funny.
We’ve got a bigger budget for the project I’m involved in, and plus I’ve had a big hand in writing just about everything, so it’ll be pretty different from this, but I just wanted to share this for the hell of it.
Finding my bearings took little time at all: I only had to glance at the language on the signs around me to recognize the Finnish. My next step, locating either Jordan or the Tour Guide he sought, proved surprisingly easy as well. All I had to do was turn around and see the two of them staring at me from across the street.
The Tour Guide still elected to wear her black cloak, hiding her identity from us. She had always been an enigma, appearing in the last month of the apocalypse and assisting us where she could but never appearing without her disguise. But she wasn’t eldritch, that much was clear. She was just a human who wanted to help.
As neither of the two were saying anything, I spoke up first, asking Jordan why he now wore an orange scarf. Then I considered the mechanics of time travel and asked how he got here so fast, since I should have returned around the same time I left.
Jordan grabbed at the back of his neck and said, “I got here a few weeks ago. Where were you?”
"I’m not entirely sure. I traveled back in time with The Devil, then I think I wound up exploring other universes. I think.”
The Tour Guide ran up to me and hugged me, squealing over how cute I was. “You’ve grown since I last saw you! You should consider cutting your hair, though. You’d look so much neater.”
"Thanks, I guess?" I stepped around, awkwardly, not sure what to say to any of this. "I’ve been gone for weeks?”
"Yeah," said Jordan as he handed me some kind of candy. "I wondered where you went, but Sally told me you had Fear business."
"Where is she, anyway?"
A look of uncertainty appeared on his face. “I think she said she had Fear business too. She wouldn’t tell me what it was.”
"Shit, I should probably see what’s happened." I paused for a second. "..seriously, weeks?" I hadn’t considered this when I left. I’d just ran off to see some of the extents of my powers, but in doing so I’d pretty much vanished off the face of the Earth. I decided to look into that detail next time I saw a Fear who knew about this sort of thing.
In the meantime, I wanted to spend time with my friends. So we went back to the Tour Guide’s refuge— I suppose it must have been her home before everything changed. ..well, I suppose it still was her home. Things hadn’t changed all that much for those of us still alive. The details changed, the essence remained.
…the point is. We went back to the Tour Guide’s home and stayed there for a while. We made games to play, we spoke casually, the Tour Guide took her cloak off for once and Jordan gawked over her like he tends to, they played dress-up while I.. genuinely enjoyed myself. Life went on, y’know? And I don’t think any of us talked about the apocalypse or the Fears for another week.
It was a damn good week.
Omega led me out of the cave over the next couple days. We crossed pools of a liquid that sizzled as torchlight struck, upside-down walls hardly distinguishable from normal rock walls, and small holes from which emitted lights and noises I could never imagine a face to.
The end of the cave showed a landscape, a land whose familiarity begot feelings in me I could not distinguish for another few months. A checkered ground littered with spider corpses. Mountain ranges defying physics in the distance. The untempered smells of a wasteland nearby. No sound besides our own footsteps. As we walked, Omega in silence, I couldn’t shake everlasting dread. Some sort of battle had transpired here, one whose ramifications I couldn’t at that moment fathom.
Omega stopped walking once the cave was out of sight. He turned to me and said, “We’ve got some walking to do before we reach the end.”
"What’s at the end?"
"The exit, I’d imagine."
Our walk took us through the wasteland, past multicoloured rocks towering above, and into a forest where all sense of direction halted. Still my guide kept moving, and I felt no desire to linger in this haunting world.
At one point in our travels, my gaze turned upwards and I saw a ship hovering in the sky. Shadows covered the vessel despite no logical reason for light to be blocked. I felt another pang inside, a sense that I shouldn’t be here. We kept walking.
The forest vanished completely by nightfall, and my sense of direction returned. In front of us I saw a magnificent structure crafted by intelligent design. Stained glass windows in purple and black hung above the massive entrance. Walking through the door, I swore I heard a deep muffled thud from within. Omega stopped in place, listening as well. I asked him what that noise was. He resumed walking.
We soon reached a humbling chamber lacking a ceiling. The walls spired upwards, shining red eyes down onto the purple checkered floor upon which we walked. In the center of this enormous room, I could see a large gathering of.. something. I felt another powerful surge of dread as I approached it and recognized it as a pile of broken discarded boomboxes and amps.
Omega called for me. “This way.”
A staircase appeared where none had been hinted before. It had been built into the cathedral, leading downwards into whatever demented catacombs laid below.
So down we went.
There was no bottom.
Omega disappeared, and when I turned around I saw the top of the staircase immediately behind me, opening to a street on the present Earth I knew.
My journey through Ukhu Pacha had ended. For now. But now my curiosity had been piqued. I had something else to look into.
Rendered by Penbrydd
THE MAJESTY OF THOTH
As he appears in A Book of Names. Well, as he might appear. Some artists see him as caucasian, some see him as black, I’m sure some people even see him as Mexican. Whatever works for you.
Oh yeah, I never made it clear, did I?
THAT BIG PROJECT I’M WORKING ON FOR R’N’D MEDIA
IT IS NOT APPLE CRICKET
I FORGOT TO CLARIFY
APPLE CRICKET IS ALREADY DONE BUT DUE TO TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES ALISTAIR ISN’T READY TO RELEASE IT, or at least not the part I worked on
THE NEW PROJECT
IS SOMETHING ENTIRELY DIFFERENT.
But considerably more ridiculous.
Really, once we formally announce this thing, you’ll be like “oh wow that is such a DJay thing to write.”
I JUST YOU GUYS I SO WISH I COULD JUST ANNOUNCE IT NOW
BUT we’re waiting on a certain something visual before we can announce it. ;D And I’ll make a new Tumblr for it but I’ll probably end up reblogging everything important here.
This is the most professional thing I’ve ever worked on. And it’s going to be so beautiful. You’ll see homages to Top Gear, Marble Hornets, Suburban Knights, Beavis and Butt-Head Do America, Hot Fuzz, and that’s just in the first three scripts. And it’ll all be mixed together in a mega homage to one of the greatest TV shows of all time. On top of all that, I’m putting my all into writing an original plot that tries to explore a character we really shouldn’t be exploring. ;D ..in a method that’s itself an homage to both Withnail & I and The World’s End.
This is R’N’D Media, guys. This is a new era of my life. And I want all of you to be involved.
So just please stay tuned like a saxophone. I should be announcing stuff any day now.
With the R’N’D project, I’ll be writing more next week. Something closer to an announcement will be coming very soon, maybe in the next few days.
Meanwhile, I’m back to work on something Rapture-related. I doubt it’ll be ready for a couple months but I can at least say what this project is: I’m trying to get the logs published on CreateSpace. I’d love a physical copy and I know other people would too, so SlendySlayer and I are giving the logs a thorough prepping up. We’re hoping we can include as much art as possible without it being too expensive, but we’ll see how things go.
Many things to look forward to!
331Erock is fantastic. I recently went up to R’N’D Media’s central studio (hahahahahaha no it’s just Alistair’s garage) to find people building a wheelbarrow from scratch with a wheelchair, planks of wood, and a lot of white paint. So I went on YouTube and played this and blasted it at a loudness level scientifically recognized as “Teenager” loud. Such fond memories.
Song relevant to something or other.