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Wednesday May 25th, 2011

1:24 AM

Going to bed. Big day tomorrow.

3:01 AM

Heard a noise. Woke me up. Sounded like it came from Donnie’s room.

3:02 AM

I peeked in through the door. She was standing in front of the window, a beautiful yet.. extremely thin silhouette. Still beautiful, though. I asked if she was alright, mentioned that I heard a noise. She didn’t respond. I decided to leave her.

3:23 AM

..okay, something’s been on my mind all this time. See, I know very well what Donnie looks like. I.. I don’t remember her being that thin. I mean, maybe I was mistaken. Maybe. She was just a silhouette.

I’m gonna check again. I’m taking Tiger Stripes this time. And my journal.

3:24 AM

Donnie’s in her bed, asleep. And no, she’s not that thin. I’m waking her up. We’re getting out of here. NOW.

3:41 AM

Okay, I’ve put my CDs into one of those CD folder things. This is much easier to carry. I’ve got bags, I’ve got Tiger Stripes, I’ve got my Pot Noodles and my soda; I’m completely ready.

Donnie, still tired, has got her share of snacks and drinks. She’s got a steel frying pan, too. And a Metroid T-shirt. She’s awesome. ..anyway, uh, we’re about to set off now. Checking the house for anything we missed.

3:43 AM

Donnie just asked me about the egg sacs. She asked if there were supposed to be two hatched, two unhatched.

Short answer: No.

Long answer: We’re getting the fuck out of here. …no.

3:55 AM

Out of the neighbourhood. No sign of spidercats or anything yet. God, it’s dark for 4 in the morning.

4:18 AM

We’re going towards the motorway. It’s the fastest way to London. ..I think. The high street is quiet, as always.

4:30 AM

We’re nearing the motorway. Donnie’s quiet. I take it it’s because she’s tired; she’s been rather talkative these past few days otherwise.

I can hear a faint cawing noise. Like a crow.

4:42 AM

The cawing seems to be getting louder.

4:50 AM

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUNRUUUN RUN RUNR URFSHNU

4:52 AM

WE’RE AT THE MOTORWAAAAYAYYAYAYY RHGET TEFGO GO GO GO RUNN RNUUN RUN RUN RUN

4:56 AM

OH MY GOD RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN RUN

4:58 AM

I can’t run much longer oh my god THE BIG ONE

4:59 AM

Okay. I’m hiding behind a car. I don’t think the Big One saw me hiFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

5:00 AM

RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN

5:01 AM

It stopped. It’s turning back. What the fuck. YEAH YOU’D BETTER RUN.

Okay, where’s Donnie, there she is, she’s behind that car, got it.

We got everything? Good, good, good.

5:32 AM

We’ve been walking down this motorway for a while now. We haven’t seen a single soul, just miles and miles of busted cars.

I admit, I was kinda expecting to run into some other travelers or something.

5:50 AM

Getting light. Very light. No sun, though. Just red.

6:13 AM

We played “I Spy.”

6:38 AM

Found a car, a big SUV, filled with good food and drink and whatnot. Time for a picnic!

6:40 AM

“So why do you wear that.. outfit, anyway?”

Good question. I dunno, really. I like to look distinguished, I guess. Makes me feel comfortable. And cool. Kinda like the Doctor or something!

“Looks more like the Blues Brothers.”

Yeah, there’s a bit of Blues Brothers influence, but that was really just a coincidence. I wear the coat because of the slender man, and the hat’s inspired by Yahtzee Croshaw. But it’s all just influences, not really that important.

“I think I’ve heard of Yahtzee. What’s the slender man?”

Oh! Haha, the slender man! Goodness. It’s an urban legend, this tale of a man who’s seen in the backgrounds of photographs. He’s tall and faceless and wears a business suit and tie. Hella creepy when you read all about him late at night. Left a big impression on me.

“Sounds cool. What does he do?”

Nobody’s really sure. Usually, the people in the photographs with him go missing. Sometimes they’ll turn up later, disemboweled and strung up on trees. Sometimes they’ll turn up insane, sometimes wearing masks and being violent and unstable. Sometimes they simply won’t ever be seen again.

”..he’s not real, is he?”

He’s not supposed to be, but with this whole situation? I wouldn’t be surprised. ^^;;;;; I really hope he’s not, though.

6:45 PM

Moving out again!

7:02 AM

We’ve still got a long way to go. We’re probably gonna stop and rest soon. Maybe.

7:37 AM

OH GOD NO WAY NO FUCKING WAY NO NO NO THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE

oh, it’s just a dead guy in a business suit. Never mind. Hahahaaaa, never mind. Nothing, never mind!

7:45 AM

Donnie’s getting tired. I mean, she seemed pretty tired when we first set out, but now she just looks exhausted. And I admit, I’m pretty tired, myself.

We’ll stop soon.

8:11 AM

We just passed Croydon. We’re closer than I thought. We’ll rest in herjfi0asdH(USFTEAH(EGAJ*)HOLY COCK

8:13 AM

OH MY GOD IT GOT A POT NOODLE WHY THE HELL DOES EVERYTHING WANT MY POT NOODLES

8:16 AM

OHHHHHHHHHHHH GOD THIS IS BAD THIS IS VERY VERY BAD WHERE’S DONNIE OH MY GOD WHERE IS DONNIE

There she is, next to me, never mind.

8:20 AM

…it’s gotten quiet, so I’m going to write.

You’re not going to believe this. …actually, you might. We were walking along when all of a sudden, BAM. All the cars on the motorway started to move. They moved into one giant mass, and they have formed a giant motherfucking cobra. Made of cars.

I’m going to call it the Carbra. Getting past this thing isn’t going to be easy. We’re hiding behind a tree.

8:23 AM

Donnie wants to try talking to it. I repeated what she just said, and she realized how stupid the idea was.

8:27 AM

Okay. Okay. I’m going to make a mad dash for the next tree. Tiger Stripes, give me strength.

8:28 AM

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

8:29 AM

Made it.

8:31 AM

Okay, now Donnie’s got the courage. She’s gonna make the dash.

8:32 AM

NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONOOOOOOOOOOO YOU MOTHERFUCKER EAT PLASTIC GUITAR

8:35 AM

OKAY WELL EAT POT NOODLE

8:38 AM

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF EAT MORE PLASTIC GUITAR YOU MOTHERFUCKER RAFHU*FGSAJI)

8:39 AM

OH GOD I JUST GOT SMACKED IN THE FACE WITH A TIRE

8:40 AM

I’M SMACKING AS HARD AS I CAN, IT WON’T LET GO OF DONNIE. ….AND I CAN HEAR THAT DAMN CAWING AGAIN, MOTHERFUCKER.

8:41 AM

YEAH THAT’S RIGHT YOU’D BETTER RUN YOU FUCKING FUCKJOB FUCKER FUCKAROO, IF YOU TRY TO FUCK WITH ME THEN I SHALL FUCK YOU TOO AND ALL THAT FUCK FUCK! RUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUN

8:43 AM

We’re running we’re running I got Donnie and we’re running we’re running oh my god AHHHHH

8:47 AM

We’re hiding. Behind a truck. I sure as hell hope this isn’t, like… the Carbra’s penis or something. I hope it’s just a truck. Either way, we’ve got more problems.

Motherfuckers can fly now. The zombies. The motherfucking zombies can motherfucking fly.They. Have. WINGS. Now. Motherfucker.

8:49 AM

God, the sound of their wings flapping… it’s so fucking annoying. Where the hell can we go?

8:50 AM

Donnie’s got an idea. I’m following.

8:51 AM

FUCK YOU FLYING ZOMBIES FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF RUN RUN RUN RUN

8:52 AM

I WISH I HAD A FUCKING GUN; I’D FUCKING SHOOT THOSE BITCHES

8:53 AM

I’m sorry; I don’t know why I’m using such language. As a proud member of the Lucky-to-be-alive Servile Bitches Association, the word “bitch” offends me when used under such negative connotations. I’m being a hypocrite. I apologize for the profound profanity. If you, or someone you know has had the joys of being someone’s bitch voluntarily, then you or that person will know what I’m talking about. Once again, I apologize.

…but damn, I wish I could kill those flying bitches.

8:55 AM

Donnie led me to a shed on a hill. She’s locked the door. I like where this is going. >w>

9:01 AM

Sitting by the door, listening for the flying zombies to go away. Yeah, this isn’t quite where I thought it was going.

9:05 AM

We’re both yawning several times a minute. I don’t know how much longer we can stay awake.

9:07 AM

Now that I’ve gotten a chance to really listen to those damn things, I’m less annoyed and more.. unnerved. The sound of the wings, that is. The flapping.. it sounds like.. swishing. Liquid swishing. But it also sounds like breathing. What the fuck. I’m gonna try to zone it out.

9:13 AM

….she fell asleep and is now across my lap. Shit. I’ve never, uh.. looked up what I’m supposed to do now. Do I.. do I feel her up? Do I kiss her? ..why am I writing in my journal when I could be doing all sorts of— fuck it, I’m just gonna sleep, too.

5:49 PM

I swear, her pants were on when I fell asleep. Now they’re on my head. Where’s the rest of her?

5:50 PM

OH GOD SORRY DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE GETTING CHANGED SORRY SORRY

5:51 PM

I gave her her pants back. She put them in her bag. She says she just tossed them to the side, and they happened to land on my head. ….I’m not complaining, either way.

5:54 PM

I got changed too. Goddamn zombies are still out there, flapping their.. flappy wings. I guess we’re stuck in this shed. Fuck.

5:59 PM

Note to self: “You have nice pants” isn’t a good compliment. It’s a bit weird.

6:14 PM

This place has a stove. Had a Pot Noodle. It was tasty.

6:32 PM

Fucking shitcrabs, they’re still out there.

6:38 PM

There’s a basement door in this shed. It leads to a long staircase. I think it’s a rabbit hole. I brought this up to Donnie, and I think she wants to go down.

6:43 PM

Led us to a shed that looks pretty similar to the one we were previously in, though the front door is now large and steel. I’m gonna break it down.

6:44 PM

We’re in a small blue room. There’s nothing in here.

FFFFF WHERE’D THE EXIT GO

Okay, we might be trapped. I’m gonna see if I can break the walls down.

OH GOD FLOOR OPENED UP

6:50 PM

Woke up. Warm floor, though it’s dirt. Donnie’s okay. Hard to see. Faint redness, hope that’s not my vision.

6:51 PM

OH GOD I HEARD A SCREAM, DONNIE oh. That was a male scream. ..it wasn’t me. So who was it?

6:52 PM

God, I can’t see a thing. I’m calling out, asking who screamed just now, but I got nothing.

I think Donnie’s behind me. I think. ..I can feel her, yeah, she’s there.

6:56 PM

Where the hell am I going? I can’t see aWJI)FSAJI) ow ow owww my fooooot.

It’s a flashlight! Holy shit! Let’s seewwr jdfgyer 9H (WRASH(tr s 9sa SAUIRr ir io sai

mother.. fucker. That. Is it. Enough. Is ENOUGH. I have HAD it with these

MOTHERFUCKING SPIDERS

in this

MOTHER.

FUCKING.

CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE!

Everybody, strap in. I’m about to open some fuckin’ windows. With a guitar controller.

7:02 PM

DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE I FUCKING HATE YOU YOU FJETAJJ) UI HATEE YOU I HATE YOU ASIR JT*AI HATR YOU TAIO JH^AAWTYEYE YOU AHTOAAT HATAAWAE YOUE THA IAW HA TAE ^OEUT I HATWIETE YOU AI HAWEAEITARI TRO UWO I! HATE! YOU!

7:07 PM

There. They’re fucking DEAD. All of the Daddy Long-Teeth are dead. That’s what I’m calling them. They’re giant; size of a COW, each of ‘em. Like a daddy-long legs.

7:40 PM

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT OH MY GOD

7:44 PM

OH MY GOD IS THAT ITS FACE

7:50 PM

This is going to be a long night.

9:30 PM

Its face was a giant human head. I think it was Bill Gates.

I just killed the Gates Monster.

9:32 PM

Donnie is a little pale. Yeah, I think I am too. I have no idea where we’re going. But hey! At least we know what made that scream.

9:34 PM

Motherfffff, there’s a staircase here, leading down. I can see the bottom this time, though.

A rabbit hole within a rabbit hole. WE HAVE TO GO DEEPER.

…sorry.

9:35 PM

This staircase led to a dark passage. This passage seems to be going down pretty far.

9:36 PM

OH GOD MY EYES

flashing red lights it’s hurting my retinas

IT’S A MAZE.

HOLD ON TIGHT, DONNIE; WE’RE GETTING THROUGH THIS MAZE.

9:38 PM

It’s fucking impossible to see where I’m going. I could easily go blind from this.

9:39 PM

Wait, didn’t I just come back this way? There’s a wall here now. My god. It’s just like the file cabinets. Ohhh god.

9:40 PM

WAIT OH MY GOD YES YES YES WE’RE OUT WE’RE OUT

Ohhh god my fucking eyes.

….oh my god. What. What the.. what.

What is that?

Let me, uh.. try to describe this. We seem to be in a void. A black void. In front of us, a good five or ten feet away, is a lone door. But directly in front of us is the void; there’s no floor. Well, there are, uh… patches? Patches of floor here and there. I don’t know how safe they are to step on, though.

NO NO NO WAIT DONNIE DON’T oh. Kay, the ‘patches’ are very safe to step on. Kay, we can easily cross, then.

9:42 PM

The door led to a small office. There are several doors around us. I’ve got to admit, I’m… very nervous to open one. I’m gonna try this one.

9:44 PM

Upon opening the door, I was presented with an impossibly long corridor. At the other end of the corridor, I could see a giant screaming face approaching me at terminal velocity. I quickly shut the door. I hate this place.

9:45 PM

It looks to me like Donnie opened a door and found some dead people. I don’t think she wants to open any more doors, either. So what are we gonna do?

9:48 PM

We’ve looked all over. There aren’t any other options. We’re gonna have to open another door.

Fuck.

9:49 PM

We drew straws. I got the shortest one. Okaaaay here goes.

…an empty room except for a ladder leading into a hole in the ceiling. Ohhh god.

10:01 PM

We climbed out of a manhole. In a street. Where the hell are we now?

10:05 PM

LONDON WE’RE IN LONDON OH MY GOD

10:12 PM

We found a stationery store! Oh my god, they have tons of journals! I am so taking one. Perfect timing, too. This journal was just about to run out of

10:20 PM

I got myself a new journal. Fancy. Pretty. Huge, too. Nobody’s here, so Donnie and I thought we’d just.. take stuff. We’re gonna look for a map. HMV’s gotta be close.

10:24 PM

This street’s pretty weird. I can hear the laughter of little children.

10:27 PM

Found a bus station. Had a map. It says we’re at the wrong side of the Thames. Fuck. I can see Piccadilly on here, though. Should be there in an hour, I’d say.

10:31 PM

Donnie’s been awfully quiet. Then again, so have these streets. I was kinda expecting a horde of zombies on every street. I mean, this is London.

10:35 PM

We’ve hit the Thames. Bridge nearby.

10:39 PM

Donnie says she’s been seeing things. Strings around corners, nearby, moving. Personally, I’m pretty sure that strings are the least of our concerns right now.

10:40 PM

Hit the bridge. Crossing the Thames.

10:42 PM

God, the Thames is a huge river.

10:45 PM

I just heard a splash. Donnie’s here, she’s okay. Looked over the edge, nothing.

10:47 PM

Motherfffff strings everywhere

10:49 PM

OKAYOKAYOKAY We’re out, we’re past the Thames, we’re on the wrong side of London now, the strings are gone.

I don’t know what happened there. I looked over the edge of the bridge, nothing. Looked back, tons of strings moving towards us, chased us off the bridge.

10:53 PM

I meant “other” side of London. Don’t know why I said “wrong.”

10:55 PM

…gotta admit. This sure doesn’t seem like the right side of London.

10:58 PM

They’re staring at us.

11:00 PM

Graffiti says “HMV this way.” Thank you, hoodlums.

11:03 PM

The zombies are definitely very creepy. They’re all standing in the windows, staring out at us.

11:07 PM

Hit Trafalgar Square. I know this place. We’re close.

11:11 PM

Did I say “close?” I meant “halfway.” I wish it wasn’t so far away, dammit.

urp