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Sunday June 12th, 2011

3:12 AM

My mouth’s starting to bleed.

Mistress says it’s time to tell me the news.

Mistress says it’s Donnivan’s turn to go convert some bitches. Mistress wants Donnie to go to London and kill the people on a list she’s giving me right now.

There’s only two names on here.

Donnie’s not here; she’s upstairs.

Mistress knows. Mistress wants me to tell her.

And Mistress forbids Donnie from entering any rabbit holes. It’ll be a six-day trip, and Mistress wants specifically that.

Mistress is leaving now. Donnie had better be gone by 6 AM.


4:29 AM

Donnie’s not taking the news very lightly. I’m trying to explain to her that London’s fine, London’s easy, she can make it. But at the same time, I’m kinda just saying that. I have no idea how easy or hard it’ll be, and she’s not even allowed to enter any rabbit holes. What if she goes in one accidentally? Judging from Lloret, they can be hard to predict.

I’m also trying to assure her that things will be better when she returns. That one’s the hardest to convince her of. Myself of.

5:45 AM

Well.. I promised her, when she gets back, I’d make love to her. I was all out of ideas, and I just.. god. I wanted her to go; I didn’t want her to die. I might die while she’s gone, that’s fine. But I want her to have a fighting chance. And if that means promising I’ll fuck her in a special way somehow, then so be it.

I gotta admit, as much as I’m tired of sex with Mistress, I like the idea of it with Donnie.

She’s agreed to go. It was that promise that did it. I don’t know if I’m taking advantage of her or if she’s taking advantage of me at this rate, but I think what’s important is, it made her smile.

5:54 AM

I’m walking her to the edge of town.

She’s in the blue dress she was given, red leggings, and some sort of undershirt. I wasn’t watching her get dressed, journal. >.> I think she looks rather pretty. .w.

6:01 AM

She held my hand the rest of the way. We said our farewells, and as she left, she turned and said “Keep your promise. That’s an order.” With a wink and a smile.

I love orders, journal, but I loved that smile so much more. :D

It was nothing like Mistress’ permanent smile, smudged on with lipstick and grinning from ear to ear. It was warm, it was temporary, and it was real.

I miss her already.

6:40 AM

As I got home, Mistress was standing by our front door, watching me arrive. She said nothing, only waved, turned, and left.

Donnie’s gone now.

This is gonna be a long week.

I’m going to bed.

3:21 PM

When I first woke up, I expected to see Donnie next to me in bed, like usual.

A second later, I realized what was going on, and fully expected to see Mistress watching me sleep.

Neither person was there.

5:41 PM

We’ll meet again, my friend.

Someday soon!

Dream Theater, take me away, distract me. Please.

10:39 PM

Someone’s at the door.

10:40 PM


Mistress is glad we’ve finally got that distraction out of here. Mistress says now she can get down to some real business with her bitch.


YES MA’AM Mistress pushed me to the floor, Mistress is ripping my clothes off oh god don’t make me describe it all, Mistress will make me do what she wants, because for this week, I’m her bitch.

Oh god. Mistress is sitting on my naked body and ffff Mistress is grabbing a sharp chunk of wood off herself what Mistress is growing the wood back and Mistress is taking the chunk of wood and holding it dangerously close to my penis oh my god I’ll obey I’ll write I’ll write I’ll obey I’ll do anything oh my god Mistress put the sharp chunk of wood in my mouth my tongue is bleeding o_e Mistress rji8 jerked the wood and ohjig so much fucking blood in my mouth I WON’T COUGH MISTRESS I WON’T oh my god RIPPING it out oh god Mistress is gagging me with

NO NO NO, fucking no please fuck no no, nono no EFJA SPIDER fucking gagged me with a spider a big one and I WON’T SWALLOW I WON’T tape on mouth MISTRESS PLEASE sharp wood cuts all over my stomach Mistress please show mercy please oh god the spider’s wriggling Mistress URFK sitting on my face okaaaay that’s fantastic and all but it’sh ard to see what Im’ writing andfcukf

beathehbarrweathebearaethebraeatrhebearehbteahrtrbaejhiarairairaraiiar rfji8d GOT AIR BUT SWALLOWED SPIDER

Mistress is disappointed in me. Mistress was going to finish here, but I disobeyed her order not to swallow. So if Mistress’ bitch wants to swallow something, Mistress will give her bitch something to swaAAAAAAAA WHHATIS THAT

THAT’s a wrinkled and disgusting decapitated penis IN MY MOUTH aand tape and WAIT NONONOO I CAN’T Mistress must punish her bitch enough to make him obey from now on, but does that have to involve sticking the sharp wood chunk up my ass F(FJISRJSFASFASFASFASFASFASFASFASFASFASFAR

..and Mistress made me lie back down. Old penis in my mouth, sharp stick up my ass, what’s next, of course Mistress will sit on my face again but this time Mistress will have to think about getting up oh my god

RJ9can see hat im wintg


(The next several pages have been ripped out.)